3 Years & Still Going Strong?

Numbers: On July 3, 2008 I was 300 pounds. Yesterday (July 3, 2011) I was 169.8. Its been 3 years since I made the decision to change my life. 2 years being under the infamous 200 pound mark. 1.5 years maintaining my weight at an average 170.

Am I still going strong? I guess that depends on your definition of strong. There's a reason I never started a formal blog about my weight loss journey the way a lot of us 100+ pound losers do. I didn't go to group meetings or join an online community. I didn't have a surgery. I didn't pop a pill. I didn't join Nutrisystem, Lindora, Jenny Craig, WeightWatchers or any other weight loss company/ movement/ revolution. I didn't start exercising. I didn't start "eating right" and fill the house with produce, whole wheat and white meats. I didn't start drinking more water. I didn't give up fast food.

What did I do? I simply STOPPED overeating. I gave myself 1500 calories a day (maximum) to do whatever the hell I wanted with and after that I was done! Yes, there were days when all I ate was 1500 calories of donuts OR pizza OR ice cream.

You can probably guess why I didn't advertise what I was doing. People expect to hear that you ransacked your kitchen of everything that contained more than 1 gram of fat and replaced it with wheat grass. That you go to the gym every morning before the butt crack of dawn. And that you have some how installed imaginary blinders to the endless stream of  "bad food" that comes at us all day.

The truth is, I didn't feel strong enough to do it that way. For those of you that were/ are... YOU'RE MY HERO! I, however, knew my real problem wasn't the foods I loved or the exercise I avoided, it was the fact that I couldn't commit. I would start Atkins or SlimFast or some new aerobics video with Kathy Ireland and after one month and a few pounds lost I would walk away never to return. I finally stopped the madness and asked myself what changes could I live with for the long haul. The secret is... EVERYTHING WORKS! Every diet works! The real question is: What are you going to stick with?

To those that say I should stop eating crappy foods and exercise more: I wholeheartedly agree! But will I? Probably not. I live in America where the real food pyramid is made up of  fast food value menus and 500 calorie coffees. I couldn't get away from it, so I stopped trying.

As you can probably guess, there's an inherent danger to losing/ maintaining your weight while still eating smaller portions of whatever you want. It's like giving an alcoholic a tablespoon of their favorite drink and asking them not to want more. But for me it has been infinitely easier than going cold turkey, which I've done. Within a week I was usually hit by some wrecking ball craving, spent the day binging and I would never get back on the horse. Thus, I would remain 300 pounds, which is far more unhealthy than me at 170 pounds eating 1500 calories a day of whatever the heck I wanted.

That isn't to say I still don't have my binging days. I do. They're called weekends. However, the difference is now I weigh myself every single morning and I count my calories every single day. I force myself to see the direct correlation between eating 4,000 calories one day and watching the scale go up by 2 pounds the next. It keeps me accountable. And unlike before, I'm not afraid to get back on the horse. Because getting back on the horse doesn't mean denying myself the foods I want, it just means eating less of them.

Why losing weight is easier than maintaining: Losing weight is an absolute high!!! When you have over 100+ pounds to lose the journey ahead seems impossible to conquer, but once you get that magical ball rolling, it's totally addicting! Constantly getting on the scale and seeing 2-5 pounds gone each week (which is easy to do when you have that much to lose) is awesome! Crossing my legs for the first time... Awesome! Not needing a seat belt extension on a plane... Awesome! Getting up off the floor without a struggle, running up a flight of stairs, shopping in the non-plus size sections of stores... All awesome!

But like any new relationship, eventually that magic wears off. And your once novel romance is now "the norm." Don't get me wrong, you NEVER truly forget what it's like to be in your old body, you just simply stop marveling at everything. I don't think about it every day and I sometimes find myself avoiding old pictures. They're too painful to look at. And that's precisely when old habits start to creep in. When you "let yourself go" a few days and discover you've gained 5 pounds. That's the danger zone.

In conclusion: There isn't one. I'll be doing this dance the rest of my life. No matter the method for my weight loss madness, ignorance is no longer an option! If I gain the weight back, it's because I chose to! I'll be carrying this bag the rest of my life. But hey, it's a hell of a lot lighter than the bag I used to carry.